Amorphous
by fakeid
Summary: Draco owes Harry a life debt. Fate takes matter into his own capable hands. Mpreg. Not epilogue compliant.
1. Falling

Amorphous

By: shadowclub/fakeid

Summary: Draco owes Harry a life debt. Fate takes matters a different direction.

Warnings: Male pregnancy, nothing too descriptive! Certain trigger scenes for suicide.

Notes: Slight break in my usual style. A little more dark, but still ghetto (I abuse this word)! Written for taradiane for the hdinspired themed exchange.

* * *

_December 25…Midnight_

The snow falls on his face.

Draco stands at the window of the North Tower, the highest point of the manor. His perfectly polished shoes are dull in the grey-blue light of the evening.

"Failure," the ghost of Great-great Aunt Mildred whispers. What had she known about honor? Her own son killed her because she nagged him so much. Draco ignores it and she glides away. The spectral figure of Dumbledore is telling him something, but he can't hear it, the roaring of the wind is too loud.

_Male pregnancy can be caused by a two factors (1) Life debt (2) Inter-dimensional intercourse between two bonded partners. In cases where the husband has incurred a life debt from his wife, the debt can be repaid if the husband chooses (or the wife requests) to carry the child instead of the wife, thus repaying his debt to her. In rare instances of multiple life debts the husband may find himself pregnant as an automatic repayment due to the possibility of soul ownership. The soul may protect itself by compelling the body to carry the child often overcoming natural barriers such as barrenness. Wizarding children are partially conceived in magical spheres (most often located in the uterus) that can travel. Inter-dimensional intercourse has not been possible for the last 2000 years due to the closing of the galaxy cap. There are so few references to this in ancient writings that many scholars doubt it was even possible to begin with..._

And so Draco falls. His eyes are tightly shut or he would have seen a ghostly white owl swoop by. He would have seen the line of trees surrounding the impressive manor. He would have seen the solid ground growing ever closer.

A hundred metres to the ground he flips over and his robes float around him like liquid death, oddly protective of the fragile body they encase.

And everything goes black.

_December 26…_

Draco opened his eyes and found himself staring at his father's face.

After a moment Draco realised that somehow his plan had failed and that he would have to answer to his parents now.

Draco watched Lucius's face for a moment.

Silence. The prestige of the Malfoy line lay in their ability to use speech and magic productively. All Malfoy men had some training as a solicitor. It was the source of their money. It was what defined them.

Then there was silence. It was the ultimate punishment.

"The diagnostic spells showed—," Lucius began in a low voice.

"I don't want it," Draco said, his voice a jagged cut through Lucius's sentence.

"Draco!" His mother's voice rang in his ears as she threw herself on top of him. Draco gasped at the sudden pain. "Don't you ever do that to me again! What were you thinking?" She sobbed into his shoulder.

Lucius swiftly reached down, his hands curling slowly over her thin shoulder. "Don't damage him further." She nodded, wiping her eyes and pulling back.

"What happened?" Lucius asked, his tone did not leave room for evasions or even silence. Draco closed his eyes. Perhaps Lucius would think he was asleep and leave him.

"It was not a request."

"I don't know! If I knew I would have thought of some way to reverse it!"

"Did you really think jumping off the North Tower was the answer?" Lucius asked.

Draco reached into his bedside table drawer and pulled out a dog-eared book. "It is more than that…" Draco said, opening to the page on male pregnancies. Lucius took the book from him.

Lucius's eyes quickly flew across the page.

"Are you sure?" Lucius asked. Draco nodded.

"Who might the mother be?" Lucius asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"How the hell would I know?" Draco muttered.

Narcissa pulled out her wand. "I only know a paternity charm, but it might work on you in this case."

Draco shook his head. "No. It's nothing. I don't want to know! I need to make it go away!" he finished, desperately.

"You will do nothing of the sort! At least not until we find out more about why this happened. I know something about enslavement of the soul. I cannot afford to lose…There are other ways to solve this problem, but we first need to know whom you owe this debt to. Perhaps they will accept another method of payment," Lucius said, fingering his wand. "Do it, Narcissa."

Draco twisted away from her wand, managing to sit up despite the stabbing pain in his back.

Lucius pushed him back down onto the bed with one strong arm on his shoulder. "It's not going to hurt!" A timid blue light appeared in front of him with a series of numbers and runes sliding around a spherical ball of light.

"Look! Now you've gone and made it real! Just-just-go!" Draco yelled.

"The only reason you are not dead is that some sort of ward protected you, and as far as I can tell it's not one of ours. This person is keeping you alive! For once in your life accept help without whining!" Lucius said.

If they would just leave him alone this would be over with.

"You knew it was real or else you wouldn't have jumped out of the North Tower. Delusions are not fitting of a man of your standing." Lucius said, as he took out a piece of parchment and quill from Draco's desk.

"Do you have access to the registry?" Narcissa asked Lucius after a moment. Lucius nodded.

"I will be able to match the signature up tomorrow if all goes well."

Draco buried his face into the pillow. It didn't matter what the test results said. Draco knew that there was no mother. Only another father…

"Don't bother, it's Potter's."

…

_December 27…_

When Draco woke up the next morning there was a familiar face staring down at him.

"Mrwah!" he yelped.

"No need to yell, I was just checking to make sure you were alive," Blaise said cheerfully.

"What are you doing here?" Draco rasped, clutching at his chest.

Blaise rolled his eyes and looked at the artfully arranged truffles. He picked one up and placed it on his tongue.

"Don't tell me your nasty fall down the stairs has knocked what few brain cells you have out of your head?"

Draco shook his head, and then reached out for the chocolates.

"My mother—?"

Narcissa swept into the room. "Draco! I'm glad you're awake. I was getting worried."

"Yes, and Blaise is here!" Draco said, with a forced tone of cheeriness.

"Yes, you must have forgotten to mention his visit after your accident yesterday," Narcissa said, setting down a tray of pastries. Draco's mouth watered at the sight. He took one and just as he was about to bite into the flakey goodness, a putrid smell reached his nose.

"This smells atrocious! Did the house-elves put manure in it?" Draco asked, setting it back down on the tray.

"They smell fine to me," Blaise said, picking up a pastry. "Thank you, Mrs. Malfoy."

"Anytime dear," she said, smiling fondly at both of them before leaving.

Blaise stared at him for a moment.

"You aren't showing at all."

"My mother put a heavy glamour on my body and robes."

"Are you going to keep it?"

"I was scared before. My child shouldn't have to worry about its parent trying to kill it. I thought about it last night… denial doesn't erase things."

There was silence again.

"Your accident yesterday…was it really an accident?" Blaise asked, finally. Draco glanced past him to the window.

"I just… How did this happen? I don't even know where I went wrong."

"Probably at the very beginning."

"And when was that?"

"When you went back to Hogwarts."

_September 29…_

Draco flipped his pillow trying to find a cooler spot on which to place his head. The heat was like a hood over everything. Hogwarts, it seemed, was plotting against him. A rush of warm air washed over him though it must have been over forty degrees centigrade in the room already, surely.

Hogwarts. Things worked so circularly. He never thought he would have ended up here again, but when McGonagall had showed up at the door, it was hard to say no.

"Blaise, I'm telling you, it's trying to kill me!" he yelled through the curtains. If he was awake then he might as well wake up Blaise who was most amusing in a half-awake stupor.

"Shut up and go to sleep! The bloody castle isn't plotting against you!" Blaise shouted across the room.

"But—"

"We are not going through this again! First day of class is tomorrow and I need to sleep!"

Draco crawled out of bed and slunk down to the common room. After the Battle of Hogwarts, all returning and new students were placed into houses based on their year in school. This was to promote unity. The only choice they had was to pick their roommate. Blaise was the only other former Slytherin who wasn't dead or hadn't been sent abroad.

The downside was that he had to deal with people like—

"Granger," he said. She turned around from her chair near the empty fireplace.

"Draco," she replied, casually. Looking around, Draco felt a shock run through him at the sound of his first name rolling out of her mouth. "How are you doing?" she asked, a bit stiffly.

"Fine."

What classes are you taking this year?" Granger asked.

"Just all the basic ones and Advanced Defense," Draco replied.

She nodded. "I'm taking that and Advanced Healing as well."

A silence fell between them.

"The weather has been lovely lately," Draco said, lamely. The awkwardness of having a conversation with someone he had previously been trying to kill was taking a toll on his conversational skills.

"Yes, it has been."

Just then, Weasley came down the stairs. Draco should have known she wasn't just sitting there. Up to their usual nonsense, he supposed. People rarely changed, but this was ridiculous.

"Sneaking out after hours, Granger? How terribly juvenile," Draco said.

"For your information, Ron and I need to make rounds to ensure the safety of our fellow students. I wouldn't be so quick to judge the actions of others if I were you," Granger said in a neutral tone.

Draco stared at the portrait hole long after they had gone. They had changed and he hadn't even noticed this growth. Two years ago he would have bit out some insult toward Granger and Weasley would have probably punched him.

Draco looked at his reflection in the window and saw nothing more than a scared little boy trapped behind his eyes.

…

_October 1… second day of class_

The whispers and stares were like tiny fire ants crawling up his neck.

"…Death Eater. Managed to get off on some crazy insanity plea." Draco tried to ignore it, but after listening to Smith's insane prattle for ten minutes he was ready to snap.

"Smith, how's your mum doing? Still in Azkaban for murdering three Muggles?" Draco asked, turning around with a cold smile.

"No," he said, in a low voice. "Unlike you she was actually under a spell!"

"I have never killed anyone, so don't act like I'm some sort of murderer."

"You may as well been, people died because of your actions." Smith was seething now. Draco opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. There was nothing left to say, it was the truth.

…

_October 5…_

He didn't see Potter until a week into classes. It appeared that Potter had been given his own room, which was all the same to Draco. The less he saw of Potter, the better.

"Draco!" Blaise shouted at him right before he ran straight into the wall as he contemplated the brief glimpse of Potter, instead of watching where he was going. Intense pain radiated from his right knee, and he jumped around a bit trying to shake it out, but somehow managed to run straight into Potter.

"Ughna!" he gasped out, grabbing Potter's shoulder. Potter instinctively put his arms around Draco's waist steadying him.

"Are you okay?" Potter asked. Draco looked up. When the hell did Potter get taller than him?

"Yeah," Draco muttered, dusting his robes off. Potter nodded at him and continued down the hall. Blaise handed him his bag, which he'd dropped in the process. Blaise look worried all of a sudden.

"What's wrong?"

"Self-righteous Hufflepuffs at two o'clock," he whispered. Draco swiveled around and found himself face to face with Zacharias Smith.

"Death Eater scum," Smith spat, spraying Blaise and Draco with flecks of spittle.

"You must have been standing there for at least five minutes, is that the best you can come up with?" Draco asked, forcing a smirk on his face.

Zacharias smirked back and pulled out his wand, but instead of aiming it at Draco, he aimed it at Blaise.

"_Cruc—_," he started.

Draco lunged forward and knocked the wand out of Smith's hand. The next thing he knew he was pulling out his own wand, his mouth forming the words to a particularly nasty hex, when—

"Boys! That's enough!" Professor McGonagall's voice could be heard over the roaring in his ears. How dare they, how dare they presume to understand his choices? Blaise was sitting white-faced on the floor. He took one look at Professor McGonagall, stood and ran for it.

"Zabini!" she called after him.

"Leave him," Draco whispered. "It was my fault."

"I will not tolerate this behavior in the halls. Smith in my office in half an hour!" She turned and announced loudly to the hall, "If any harm befalls any of the students under the protection of the school, the perpetrators will be severely punished!"

"Stay alert, Mr. Malfoy," she whispered to him before limping down the hall. People surged forward at the sound of her retreating. The show was over.

Draco turned around and went in the direction Blaise had run. Where was he? Knowing Blaise, he was probably in the greenhouse.

The large glass panes of the greenhouse reflected the sunlight into his eyes, blinding him temporarily. As a result he heard Blaise before he saw him.

"…well if you pot this into the enriched soil, by next month it should turn out fine," Blaise was saying. His accent was slightly more pronounced than normal and his posture was that of loose confidence. This could only mean one thing.

Girl.

"Ahh, thanks Zabini. You don't have to stay here with me. I'm capable." The voice was familiar, but Draco couldn't place it.

"I have no doubt about that, I am just here to observe," Blaise replied.

Well, it was obvious that Blaise had recovered from his trauma quite quickly. Draco peered through the glass trying to get a better look at what was going on.

"Malfoy! You got lucky back there," Smith called from behind him. Smith had found him; it was clear that McGonagall's warning wasn't enough to dissuade him. The majority of the people here had no desire to reconcile or even hear his side of the story. The world was painted black and white to them, a stark contrast to the grey sky.

Smith immediately summoned Draco's wand before he remembered to get a firm grip on it.

"Luck favors the prepared," Draco said making no motion to run. What was the point? It was actually better this way. Smith was too much of an idiot to actually torture him before he died.

Draco stared at the tip of Smith's wand and felt no fear. Smith's face twisted into a smirk, oddly reminiscent of his own a few years ago. It was like looking into a mirror only to find that the reflection had changed so dramatically.

"Do it," he whispered. "You'll mean it this time. I know your sister was killed by Death Eaters. I was there, I did it," he taunted.

Smith's face twisted so much that Draco was afraid it was going to break.

Draco watched as he pronounced the words before he felt a body slam into his.

"What th—Potter?" Draco exclaimed, incredulous.

"Christ, Malfoy, if I had a Galleon for every time a Gryffindor saved your life."

Draco brushed off his robe.

"Smith!" Potter said, grabbing the back of his shirt. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? I think there's been enough death and torture, don't you. Stay the fuck away from Malfoy, he hasn't done anything to you!"

Smith nodded. Potter released his grip on Smith's shirt. Potter was taller now, still lean and wiry, but taller and older looking. The second Potter released him, Smith ran.

"You didn't have to do that. I had the situation under control."

"Could you really let that happen to someone?" Potter asked, pulling out his wand.

"What are you doing?"

"Not killing you, that's for sure. You have a cut, I'm just healing it," Potter said as he pointed his wand at Draco's cheek and whispered the spell. A soft whirl of breath and his skin was healed. Draco blushed at the intimate feeling of Potter's magic on his skin.

Pathetic.

"You didn't need to do that."

Potter laughed bitterly.

"I don't like watching people bleed."

"Not even your worst enemy?"

"You were never my enemy, Malfoy, my rival for awhile, yes," Harry said. Draco didn't know whether he should be offended or complimented.

"I don't need your help," Draco said.

"Malfoy, drop the act. Ron and I saved your life multiple times. Your mum saved mine. If there is one thing I learned in the past year it's that having people help you isn't necessarily a bad thing. "

Draco pondered this for a moment. In Slytherin house "I'll help you" was equivalent to "You owe me".

Debt.

He owed Potter now. Merlin, this was bad. He owed Potter multiple debts to top it off, but Potter also owed his family.

"I guess I do owe you. Thank you," Draco said, forcing the words out of his mouth.

"I don't want you to owe me, I just was making a point," Potter said.

"Well save your 'points' for someone who cares," Draco said, walking away. He was being rude and he didn't care.

…

_October 5…night_

That night Blaise crawled into his bed.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked as Blaise pulled the blankets back.

"Scoot over," Blaise said, prodding his side.

Blaise wrapped himself around Draco. Draco lay stiffly on his back unwilling to participate in the hug.

"You're cold," Blaise said after a moment.

"I just got into bed; I haven't had time to warm up," Draco said, turning onto his stomach. As Blaise started massaging his back, Draco felt the stress of the past few weeks melt away under his hands. He had forgotten how tactile Blaise was.

"I don't want to be here anymore."

"You knew it wouldn't be easy."

"It's everywhere! Wherever I look, I see myself doing—I see it. I see my failure everywhere," Draco burst out. "People won't look at me! I actually saw someone throw their quill away after I used it. They look at me and see me as something less than human!"

The loneliness was killing him.

Blaise didn't say anything. Instead he moved his hands further down Draco's back. Draco finally gave in and, closing his eyes, he allowed himself to enjoy the touch.

"I'm glad you're here. I don't think I could do this alone."

…

_October 19…_

The library was a wonderful place if you were looking to avoid someone. The ample twists, eves and hidden bookcases made it possible to work and hide from everyone. He wanted nothing more than to be alone.

"—stop it! Anyone could see!" someone giggled. The only downside to working at the library and not in the dorms was that he occasionally ran into couples here. Bloody couple and their bloody insufferable giggling Draco thought.

Draco quickly hexed a set of matching cold sores onto the girl's lips. She deserved it. Irrationally, Draco missed Pansy, although the last time he had seen her, she had tried to kill him. It wasn't so much her as the act of being intimate with someone. Draco shook off the emotion as he walked toward the far end of the library, away from the entrance and popular study area.

He settled down at a cozy table in the corner of the library. He was taking out his books when Granger came and sat down across from him.

"There are plenty of tables empty; perhaps you would like to choose one of those," Draco said.

"No, I have a question for you. You worked with the cursed necklace, right? Well, for my project this year I want to find a way to undo the curse on the necklace. I want you to help." She pulled her quill out of her bag with a flourish and tucked it into her hair. Miraculously her hair stayed put.

"Was that a request or a demand?" he asked. "And why me? I don't understand this sudden interest in my well-being."

"Didn't you listen to the speech at the beginning of the year?"

He shook his head, no. Well, he had, but it had been a superficial listening.

"We are supposed to stop trying to put ourselves on pedestals and think about progress rather than who was right and who was wrong. Think about it. It'll be a good way to give back, don't you think?"

"I'll think about it." He knew as well as she did that he would say yes.

_October 25…_

Sometimes when the social climate was too chilly to even consider walking down the halls, Draco would lie on a bench in the greenhouse and read. Blaise often walked down with him because of the research he was doing for Sprout this year.

Well that and—

"Ginny! I didn't expect to see you here today. How is your Rukus plant coming?" Blaise said.

"It's fine."

"What's wrong?"

"There is nothing wrong."

"So your beautiful eyes are bloodshot because—?"

And so their conversation continued. Draco continued toward the back of the greenhouse where the bench was located only to find it occupied.

"Potter!"

"Malfoy!" He looked a little guilty, but recovered quickly. It was obvious that he had mastered the art of acting inconspicuously.

"It's a lovely day for a walk, is it not?" Draco asked, innocently.

"Yes, yes, lovely weather we are having," Potter responded, and turned to look outside. It was pouring rain.

"You tricked me!" he started. Draco smirked.

"First rule of acting inconspicuous: know what's going on around you."

"Coming from you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Why are you in the greenhouse? I thought your project was in Defence."

Then Ginny, as Draco had come to call her, came into view. Suddenly Potter's presence made sense.

"I thought you two were dating," Draco said, breaking the silence as they watched Blaise and Ginny working. They watched Blaise touch her shoulder and then her hair.

"I don't see how it's any of your business," Harry said.

Ginny picked up a pot of soil just as Blaise reached around her waist and picked her up, swinging her through the air as though she were a toddler. Potter's expression twisted and the pot she was holding shattered, soil flew everywhere. Blaise set her down gently.

"Are you okay? What happened?" he asked, helping her dust the soil off her.

"I guess I was gripping the pot too tightly," she replied. Draco watched as Potter clenched his fist. The tables behind Blaise and Ginny began to rattle ominously.

"Calm down!" Draco said to Harry. He was suddenly feeling very faint. The world around him whirled a blur of wine red; he saw Dumbledore's face frowning at him.

"Malfoy!" The voice called from miles away, but he was too far to stop it. Suddenly the ocean roar was back. He was vaguely aware that Blaise and Ginny ran over at the sound of Potter's voice.

Blaise was desperately trying to check Draco's pulse, but was only succeeding in slamming his wrist against the floor. He tried to tell them he was fine, but they wouldn't listen. Instead he was levitated out of the greenhouse and through the castle to his room.

Draco struggled against the fog, everything slid back into focus.

"I'm fine," he managed to gasp out. Potter, Granger and Blaise all stood around his bed. When had this happened?

"Thank Merlin! You passed out! I told you to eat more!" Granger said.

"You're back in your room, Blaise insisted that we not take you the infirmary," she told him, running a series of basic diagnostic spells over him.

Granger frowned.

"You're iron deficient."

"Is that why I happened to fall—"

Her frown only deepened.

"What's wrong?" he asked, suddenly afraid of the answer.

"Nothing, the spell is malfunctioning, I'll get you some iron boosting potion. Just eat more and sleep more. Your body has suffered a lot of stress the past two years; it will affect you permanently if you continue along this path," she said seriously. Blaise hovered around his bed as she showed him some potions.

"These should help."

Draco fell back on his pillows as she placed three potions on his bedside table. Blaise stroked his shoulder soothingly.

"Take some rest," Blaise said.

_October 27…_

It started as a nagging twitch in his left eye, which developed into a white smudge that seemed to remain there like an oily fingerprint on clean glass.

"Draco, your eye is like a cherry! Don't rub it anymore!" Blaise said forcefully, pushing Draco's hands away from his face.

"There's something in there! It's like a white smudge!" Draco yelled, pulling his arm away from Blaise. He was suddenly very tired…so tired he felt like lying on the floor and sleeping. Blaise seemed to be moving further and further away.

Draco took a sip of water and realised that there were two things very wrong with the situation. One, Dumbledore was standing in front of him, and two, Dumbledore was standing in front of him.

He spat the water out.

"Blaise, I'm going to ask you a very odd question. Just answer honestly."

"Alright"," Blaise said, worriedly.

"Do you see any people other than us in this room?"

"No," Blaise replied giving Draco a strange look.

"Ah, good," Draco said. Dumbledore took off his glasses.

"I'm not actually here. Well, I am here, but I am neither here nor there, I am—," Dumbledore started.

"Blaise, I'm fine. Really. Just go ahead without me." Blaise looked like he was about to protest, but stopped.

"If you say so."

Draco waited until he was completely out the door before turning to Dumbledore.

"Ah, my boy, it appears that I've been sent back."

"Can you go haunt H—Potter or something? I think I have enough on my plate."

"Just go on with your life, Mr. Malfoy. I have been sent back for a reason. Obviously someone thought you needed some help in your life. I don't control what is happening to my soul anymore."

Draco stared helplessly at the hallucination.

"You're not real."

"In a way, nothing is real. Emotions are a completely human invention; we make reality with our minds. The very fact that you chose to talk to me keeps me in existence. Continue on with your life. I've always liked staying in the castle; it was one of the reasons I decided to become a teacher." Dumbledore faded from view.

_October 30…_

"Granger, do you honestly think that soaking this in Unicorn urine will remove the curse?"

"I'm saying that it's entirely possible that--"

"No, it won't work because the urine is acidic and thus will promote the reflux factor—," Draco was arguing when Dumbledore stepped into view again.

"Oh! Well, I thought you could counter the reflux with…. Are you okay, you look like you've seen a ghost!"

Dumbledore gestured to him. Draco looked up at the ceiling hoping that he would go away. It was too much to hope even for a moment's peace nowadays.

"I'll be back," he said. She nodded and began flipping through her notes.

"What are you doing?" he whispered to Dumbledore as they quickly walked past the book shelves into the Restricted Section.

"You need to do something for me," Dumbledore said, pulling out a ghostly wand.

"What? No! I'm not your Golden Boy. That's Potter!"

"Harry was not mine, you know."

Somewhere up ahead, Draco heard the cry of either a baby animal or a small child.

"What the—?" Draco said, looking behind him for the source of the noise.

"It's just a trick of the magic here, designed to pull you further in," Dumbledore said.

"There!" Dumbledore pointed to a book on a shelf, Draco retrieved it.

"You pulled me away from my final project so that you could have a little bit of light reading?" Draco asked, exasperated at the whole situation.

"It's for you. I think you'll find it useful in the future."

"I don't see why you couldn't just appear to Potter and leave me out of this! I want no part in your plan."

"I didn't choose who I could appear to; I appear to the person who needs the most. Of course there was a logical fallacy when I designed the spell, but it was—."

"I can't deal with you right now! I don't need this; I need a new life, a change of pace. I need to leave this place!" Draco shouted at him. He must look like a crazed murderer.

"You came back willingly."

"McGonagall blackmailed me—"

"You are seeking redemption in the very place you sinned."

"Really, well you're dead, so ha!"

"Details. Now do you think they manufacture ectoplasmic lemon drops?" Dumbledore asked stroking his beard pensively.

"Just because I wasn't on the winning side of the war doesn't mean I need to seek redemption. Potter killed people. Hell, Potter probably practiced killing on Death Eaters. I don't see him seeking redemption."

Draco looked down the aisle where the sound seemed to be originating, and saw a beautiful woman crying on the floor. He would have stepped down the aisle to help her, but Dumbledore held him back. The woman on the floor dissipated into the air after a minute.

Dumbledore paused for a moment.

"Perhaps he is, perhaps he isn't. I would not be so quick to judge him as a conscienceless being."

"I may have well died! It's not like I'm wanted here." Draco was almost yelling now. He hadn't even realised how he felt about this.

"Renounce your faith, renounce your friends, your family, renounce your money, and renounce love! Yet one day you will see a reflection of yourself. You cannot renounce yourself. You are what you are and in the end, you must find a way to make up for past debts," Dumbledore finished.

"What are you saying?"

"Nothing, my boy, I am saying absolutely nothing."

"What do you know?" Draco asked, suspiciously.

"I have a feeling… That perhaps you owe Harry more than you think."

A philosophical hallucination, fainting, and a beautiful woman; the making of an excellent fiction novel, Draco thought, fingering the book.

I would love to hear your thoughts!


	2. Consider this

Amorphous

By: shadowclub/fakeid

Summary: Draco finds out some interesting news, Harry remembers a certain poem and Hermione still knows everything...

Notes: Thanks to the many many people who worked on this story including lusi, jaime (for teaching me what a comma really is...), dragon charmer, Nidhi, Indu, AoF and the other random people who had to hear me talk about it in abstract terms which led to very strange awkward late night discussions...

Seriously, and to all the people who review and encourage my nonsensical ramblings! Hope you enjoyed this!

_October 31…_

And then the vomiting started.

Blaise watched as Draco threw up for the third time in three hours.

"What kind of tripe were they serving tonight, anyway?" Draco rasped out between waves of nausea.

"You're the only one who's sick; maybe you're allergic to something."

Draco shook his head.

"Maybe you have a stomach virus?"

"For the last week?"

"Have you seen Pomfrey?"

"I'm sick not dying. Besides I have it in good faith that she's trying to kill off the Slytherins." 

Blaise shook his head.

"Well, it's either her or this illness. You haven't been able to hold anything down for the last three days. Pomfrey has a soft touch," Blaise said.

"How would you know?" Draco asked. Blaise gave him a significant look.

"She's a nun! There is no way! Next you'll be telling me you slept with Granger too."

"I do have standards, you know."

"Really—oh Merlin!" Draco gasped before bending over the toilet again.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were pregnant?"

Draco choked at that.

"Breathe!" Blaise said, alarmed.

"You would know this because?" Draco asked after regaining his breath.

"I've had an experience…" Blaise said, picking up a towel and handing it to him.

"Don't tell me you shipped Blaise Jr. off to your mother," Draco said, while rinsing his mouth out. He felt as though someone had taken a tree trunk to his brain

"I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy," Blaise said, pulling out a vial from his pocket. "This should help with the nausea."

"Thanks," Draco said, examining the vial before downing the potion in one swallow. Its taste lingered like sticky caramel, coating the inside of his mouth with a sugary layer.

Disgusting.

…

_November 7…_

Draco was bored. This happened on occasion. The motions were there, the emotions behind them were not. The sickness was still there, the random mood swings followed with a slight weight gain. It was barely noticeable, but bothered Draco all the same.

Then the letter came. It was hand delivered by Harry of all people. Draco wondered when Potter had become Harry. He realised that the transition had occurred so smoothly that it didn't matter, they were more equal now.

"McGonagall asked me to give this to you," Harry said as they walked out of the common room. The icy morning sunlight streamed in through the window causing Draco to squint. He turned and caught sight of Harry, whose eyes were illuminated by the sun. Even behind the large glasses he could see every fleck of color in his irises.

Draco looked away. "I see."

"You look less like a horse's arse today."

"Why thank you, Potter. Now that I have your approval, I can enter for Miss Hogwarts," Draco said.

"I think you just want an excuse to put on a dress and show off your legs," Harry said, laughing. The letter was addressed to him in his mother's fluid writing. He broke the seal; two locks of hair fell out. The vibrant white blonde of the Malfoy line and the shining gold of the Black line lay intertwined in his hand each tied with a piece of black velvet ribbon.

Draco's eyes scanned the page quickly taking in the words.

_Draco,_

Your father and I are going on a short trip. Take care. 

The Malfoy Crest stood in place of their names. Something was wrong, the whole tone was off and they were still under investigation, which made it impossible for them to leave the country.

"Malfoy, you okay?" Harry asked. Draco noticed a copy of the _The Daily Prophet _lying on the ground. Picking it up quickly, the headline blared at him: SUSPECTED FAMILIES PLACED UNDER SURVELLENCE IN AZKABAN.

The letter fell from his hand as he stood staring at the headline. In perfect crystalline clarity the letter made sense. His parents had somehow managed to keep the Ministry from taking him in as well. 

"Oh my," Dumbledore said, peering over his shoulder. "This is a rather delicate situation. Don't do anything rash."

"Rash? What am I going to do? They are breaking the law and putting people in jail who have been pardoned! I am nothing to them! They would kill me without a second thought!"

"Malfoy?" Harry asked, giving him a weird look. Draco realised that it appeared as though he was talking to himself.

"I have to go."

Draco rounded the corner before turning around and punching the wall. He gasped in pain.

Drops of blood welled up from the cut.

"I believe punching a wall would qualify as a rash action," Dumbledore said.

Draco felt the corner of his mouth twitch upward.

"You and Harry seem to be getting along."

"I think we're both tired of fighting… we aren't friends or anything," Draco said, wrapping his handkerchief around his hand.

…

_November 23…_

"Do you think she'll say yes?" Blaise asked over breakfast a few weeks later. This was the first glimmer of uncertainty that Blaise had shown since they were twelve. Draco hid his smile behind his cup. 

"How the hell should I know? They're Gryffindors; they don't think like normal people."

"You shouldn't be so quick to judge those by their house affiliation," Dumbledore's voice rang in his head. He ignored it.

"I mean I've heard stories about Potter. Much as I loathe admitting it, he does have a certain aura of manliness…" Blaise continued worriedly. 

"Blaise! Potter has nothing on you. If I were to place a bet on who would win her heart, I would put it on you," Draco said, sipping his coffee.

Draco looked up as the Golden Trio plus one (as Draco thought of her) entered the Great Hall. Blaise was in front of them so fast that Draco would later swear that he Apparated. He watched the scene unfold from the table.

What happened next would actually go down in _Hogwarts, A History_ as the "The Toad Affair."

Blaise stopped in front of Ginny and said something. Draco strained his neck as though it would help him hear what was going on. Her smile fell, but Blaise kept on speaking. Draco walked over to the group afraid of what might happen. 

"I am not sure if the deformity is relative or not. Do you think you could look at it for me?" Blaise pleaded. Ginny's eyes darted back and forth from Harry to Blaise. Ginny nodded her head. Blaise's face lit up like a candle in a dusty room.

And then Harry punched him. Draco sprinted to Blaise's side as Granger and Weasley struggled to hold Harry back. McGonagall was rushing toward them from the Head table.

"What were you thinking? We are working on a Herbology project together!" Ginny was shouting at Harry.

"Let go of me! Herbology, my arse! I know that you've been sneaking around with him behind my back!"

"We aren't dating anymore!" Ginny yelled, her face an unattractive shade of purple.

"Harry! Stop it!" Hermione yelled. 

"Potter," Draco said quietly. "Calm down."

"You slut! I wou—" Desperate to stop the situation, Draco punched him. Harry doubled over.

"You knew!"

"Mr. Malfoy! Just what do you think you're doing?" one of the professors yelled. Draco looked up and watched as a green toad flew above his head and landed on top of her head. Draco wondered for a brief instant if pigs were going to fly too, but all thought was soon banished from his head as a very angry, green-eyed teenager tackled him to the floor. Draco watched as multiple toads flew around them in swirling green moisture. Draco looked around him; there were screaming students, yelling teachers, a definite increase in chaos. 

From somewhere he recalled the line "his eyes as green as a pickled toad…"

"Toads Potter! Toads? Couldn't you have made it rain money? Draco said, lying passively on the ground. 

"Malfoy," Harry seethed. "Shut up!"

Harry was suddenly pulled off him by Blaise and Weasley. Ginny gave Harry a look before slapping him straight across the face. Draco could see the shock run through Harry's body as she ran from away from them. Harry stood there, his head still held at an awkward angle from where the force of the slap had pushed it. His eyes were closed.

"Go," Harry whispered. The toads were still flying around them, Draco was sure that no one else heard.

"Go!" he yelled at Blaise. Blaise nodded and ran after her.

…

_November 15…_

Draco was in the library again, Granger had recommended a Muggle book to him last week and he had found himself strangely infatuated with the characters, so he decided to give it another go. The aftermath of the toads had been a little messy, but no one had been physically hurt so McGonagall knew that punishing them outright was completely pointless, instead she had simply talked to Harry.

He walked down the aisle only to find it occupied by a certain boy hero.

Harry was sitting on the ground staring broodingly at the opposite shelf of books.

"Potter," Draco said, stepping over him. Why of all aisles, this one?

"She said that she loved me… I guess I wanted it so badly that I believed her and I overlooked flaws in our relationship… we idolized each other and in the end we couldn't live up to those expectations… I'm sorry if I hurt you." Harry started rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.

"I guess that makes sense; very introspective," Draco said, trying to inch further away from him. Harry didn't look too stable at the moment. Harry gave a wan smile.

"Hermione told me… I didn't want to believe her at first." That explained Granger's behavior earlier. She had fought with Harry.

"Much as I loathe admitting it, she is right much of the time."

"She is… she also said some other stuff."

"Like what?"

"Like that I didn't ever like Ginny, but was projecting emotion…" Draco stomach dropped.

"Who is your true love then? Weasley?" he said, trying to lighten the mood. He sat down next to Harry.

Harry opened his mouth and then shut it tightly.

"It doesn't make any sense," Harry said, taking off his glasses and wiping them on his shirt.

"What?" Draco asked. He was suddenly aware of his proximity to Harry; he was close enough that he could smell the fresh scent of Harry's soap.

Harry's eyes were a brilliant green against the creamy skin of his face. Then, just like that Harry was kissing him softly on the lips, his hand on Draco's waist. Draco responded automatically; it was like someone had turned on the switch to his emotions. He pushed Harry back against the bookshelf holding his shoulders there with both hands. Harry wasn't one to give up so easily and pushed him back so that he was lying face up on the floor. Draco twisted out, never breaking the grip, ending in them tangled in a heap on the floor panting for breath.

Draco lay on the floor as Harry slowly dragged his tongue up his neck before abruptly stopping and getting off him. It was painfully cold now. Harry offered him a hand up.

"I guess she was right," he said. Just then the Hermione walked up to them. It was a good thing that they had stopped when they did or else it may have been extremely difficult to explain.

"Harry," she said. "I wanted to apologise—"

"No need," he said reaching over and hugging her. She stood still for a moment obviously shocked before returning it. Harry left without looking back at them.

Granger watched Harry's retreating back for a second before turning around to him.

"What was that about?" 

Draco touched his swollen lips.

"I think we finally understand each other."

Granger nodded.

"Are you ready to get back to work?"

Draco nodded.

_November 30…_

"Professor," Harry's voice rang across the class. "Professor McGonagall wants to see Malfoy."

The Professor nodded and gestured for him to pack his things as there was only ten minutes left of class anyway. Draco followed Harry out. As soon as they were out of sight, Harry pulled Draco into an empty classroom and pulled him close. Harry's clean scent was like a potent drug to his system. He leaned into the hug.

"What about the meeting?"

"There is no meeting," Harry said, pulling Draco's shirt out of his trousers.

"Luring me under false pretenses, Potter. I always knew you weren't a good guy," Draco said, laying small kisses on Harry's jaw. Harry gave a soft moan and pushed him back so that Draco was trapped between him and the wall. He clutched at Harry's shirt, allowing himself to enjoy the feel of Harry's hands on his skin.

"Mmm, Christmas is coming up. What do you want?" Harry whispered in his ear.

"My parents back, a flying llama, the secret to a happy life," Draco replied without thinking. He pulled away.

"I see," Harry said. Draco reached up and loosened Harry's tie.

"What do you want?" Draco asked.

"A family," he whispered.

"Quite a pair we are," Draco said.

"Yes."

With that Harry finally kissed his lips.

…

_December 1…_

Draco spent the next day in bed too exhausted to move. Unwilling to do homework, he pulled out the book Dumbledore had shown him. The conditions ranged from horrible to random, until finally Draco turned to the section on male pregnancy. Oddly enough, the symptoms were a close match to his.

No, this couldn't be.

He ran out to the potions storeroom ignoring the fact he technically wasn't supposed to know the password. One of the many legacies Snape had left behind. He grabbed a bottle of indicator potion.

The book didn't lie.

Draco rarely associated anything good with Harry. It was all pain and disdain and deception. It wasn't beauty that was welling up inside of him; it was the personification of his mistakes. Every wrong turn, every laborious hour spent in the Room of Requirement, it was his hatred at being forced into the wrong side of the war. It was his anger at choosing to remain there.

Not that he would admit it at the time, but he knew. He knew somewhere within him that the only reason he hated Harry more than the Dark Lord was that Harry had tried to give him help despite all the bad he had done to him.

Not that it mattered anymore. One kiss from Harry and he was chocolate over a fire. He was addicting, sinful and could thaw ice with a look.

Draco stared into the mirror until the sun went down. His pale skin practically lit the dark room. 

He wondered if he had somehow brought this on himself by trying to change. The floor outside creaked before the door opened. Blaise stumbled in, dripping rain water all over the carpet. Draco didn't move.

"What's wrong?" Blaise said, turning to him. There was no hiding it. He would start to show soon enough. 

Draco gestured to the book. Blaise's eyes flew over the page.

"Shit… well, there is the possibility that it's not true. I mean tons of other diseases must have the same symptoms."

Draco gestured to the numerous vials that all were filled with a blue liquid.

"I stopped counting after thirty."

"I mean… how you even get it out of you?"

"Apparently they have to do some sort of operation to remove the magical uterus and then break that using pure elemental magic."

"Fuck. Whose is it?"

Draco looked up at the ceiling. Dumbledore's words rang in his head. _You may owe Harry more than you think…_

"It can only be Potter's."

…

_December 2…_

"Watch out, I think the pink elephants are eating your hair," Granger said to him.

Draco stared off into space at some point beyond her head. What was he going to do with a child?

"Yes. Sure. Wait, what did you say?"

"What's wrong? You're distracted today. Did you get any sleep last night?" she asked, reaching over to feel his forehead. Draco leaned back.

"Why do you care?"

"Because I'm your friend and that's what they do, they care," she shot back.

"We aren't friends."

"What are we then?"

"We are acquaintances with benefits."

"…I always thought it was friends with benefits," Granger said, pushing a stray curl behind her ear.

"Granger! I am in no way interested in you in that way. I mean that we are acquaintances with the benefits of friendship, but aren't friends." Draco said hurriedly. He couldn't do this right now. Granger was a Mudblood, she was everything that he had stood against, yet she was one of the few people he actually could carry on a conversation with.

"Just tell me what's wrong, I want to help."

"Fine, you want to know what's wrong with me? I can't handle it anymore! I'm in love with my childhood enemy. Oh, and yes, did I mention I'm somehow pregnant with his child, though I'm _not a woman!_. Shall I also talk about how my parents are in jail or how my best friend is having an affair with the Golden Boy's ex-girlfriend?" he burst out, sliding out of the chair onto the floor.

She was silent.

"Life debt, right?" she asked. He nodded.

"How did you—?"

"The diagnostic spells… I thought they were malfunctioning, but I did some research."

"I don't want it!" Draco burst out. "I want Harry, yes, but I'm not ready. I can't!"

She looked at him pityingly.

"I don't think you have a choice at this point. You have to keep it or risk being enslaved."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know."

"Its part his too."

"Don't remind me."

"Is that so bad?"

"No, it's just that I don't know what to do! I've no source of income, I can't guarantee that my parents will be able to release their funds to me, and I don't think my parents would be too happy about my getting pregnant."

"It'll be a happy surprise," she said, clapping her hands. Draco stared at her for a moment.

"No, I don't think it will be," he said. An idea struck him.

"I don't suppose you'll help me brew--"

"You can't abort it… first off, it's a complicated potion, and secondly, I think that you would owe Harry twice as much. This is nature's way of trying to equalize the bond between you two."

He couldn't argue with that logic. On the other hand, it would be so easy. He wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. He wouldn't have to wonder how that ball of cells became a tiny human. Draco leaned back against the wall. This was it.

…

It was, perhaps, unwise to give Blaise the bottle of Firewhiskey before they left for the break. Blaise and Ginny spent the night getting completely smashed trying to get Draco to perform increasingly ludicrous acts.

"…I'm just saying he's good-looking enough that I would do him," Blaise said. Ginny nodded in agreement.

"All that power makes him sexy and dangerous, but he's just so emotionally reserved and has no respect for the talents of other people!" Ginny said, waving her hands in the air. Draco wanted to be annoyed at her, but she was growing on him. She had spirit. He could only blame the use of her first name on Blaise.

"Potter? I think he's a little common for my tastes," Draco said, hiding his smile.

"You know what you should do? You should steal his underwear! That'll teach him," Ginny burst out giggling. Draco rolled his eyes at her antics.

"If you do it, I'll pay you ten galleons," Blaise said, taking another swig from his tumbler.

"I'd rather not, thanks," Draco said, opening up a book.

"It's a Friday night, live a little," Blaise said, throwing an arm around Draco's shoulder. 

"Fine, but I expect those ten galleons," Draco said. Might as well try. Harry had a thing for Draco wearing his clothes, so even if he didn't get the money he would get something out of the night.

Draco walked down the hall toward Harry's room when he heard Harry's voice from a nearby classroom. It sounded as though he was having an argument with someone. Keeping close to the shadows, Draco peered into the room.

"I don't really know how it came about, but it did," Harry said.

"How are you sure that he isn't using you? You practically stormed the Ministry to get his parents released. Remember how his father almost killed Ginny? Remember this is the same Malfoy who _let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts_," Weasley said.

"Stop it," Harry said, his voice ringing through the room and into the hallway. "I don't know if he's using me or not, I guess I have to trust my instincts."

"Do you love him," Weasley said.

"I don't know," Harry said.

"He's using you, you know. Think about it. With your protection he could take over the Ministry and no one would notice!" Weasley said.

"If he…" Harry's voice dropped so that Draco could no longer hear it.

It was like watching a sword go through his heart in slow motion, it hurt. Draco ran back to his room unable to listen any longer.

…

_December 20…_

It was breakfast the morning before everyone left when the letter came. He was afraid of opening it.

_Draco,_

We will be returning home in time for Christmas. Please do come home. 

Draco glanced up. Harry smiled at him.

"What did it say?" Blaise asked.

"My parents were released."

"Wha—that's great!"

"I know," Draco said. Harry had done it for him. It was scary and disturbingly attractive how much power he held. The sheer impossibility of the situation struck him. Him, a Death Eater, a purveyor of the Unforgivables. A freak. Dating Harry Potter. Draco should have seen it coming; somehow he always knew that it would come to this.

Harry walked away from the tables. After waiting for a few minutes Draco followed.

It was for his own good. This baby didn't need to be born. Harry would find happiness elsewhere.

"Thank you, for getting my parents released," Draco started when he saw Harry lounging at the end of the hall.

"It was the right thing to do," Harry said, smiling. Draco cursed him for being so lovely. 

"I—I can't do this anymore." The words burned his mouth as they left; his hand fell and rested on his slightly bulging belly.

"I don't understand."

"We can't be together."

"Why?"

"You know why," Draco said. Harry looked bewildered.

"What are you talking about?" 

"Go back to your perfect life, Potter."

"Stop being stupid, tell me what this is about," Harry said, grabbing his hand.

"I heard you last night!" Draco exploded, shoving Harry away from him. Harry recoiled in shock.

"Good-bye, Potter," Draco said, forcing Harry's last name off his tongue.

"No, wait," Harry said, running after him.

"You must make this work, it is the only way that you will ever be able to move on from your past," Dumbledore said from the corner of his vision. It was now or never.

Dumbledore gestured to the tapestry. Dumbledore was right; anyone could hear them out in the hallway. He grabbed Harry's arm and pulled the tapestry back to reveal a door, he pushed it open and went inside taking Harry with him.

"Potter—I have to tell you something."

"I have to tell you something too."

"Yes," Draco paused. "What do you know about life debts?'

"Enough," Harry looked at him, warily.

"Right, well—"

"What did you hear?" Harry asked, interrupting him.

"Don't even try that, it was clear from the conversation that I'm a burden to you," Draco whispered harshly, trying to lower his voice.

"You obviously didn't hear the whole conversation," Harry yelled. Stepping closer, he tried to kiss Draco. Draco twisted out of his grip.

"Really, did you defend me, your new charity project, well?"

"I told Ron to mind his own business and he would have to learn to accept you," Harry said.

"He was right though… He was right about my family and me." Draco looked around for a chair; he was feeling rather faint again. He realised he hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon. The room began to spin alarmingly. 

"Are you using me?" Harry asked.

"No, yes, I don't know," Draco said, leaning against the wall.

"Draco, are you okay?" Harry said, stepping toward him. Draco sat down on the floor taking deep breaths.

"I'm fine."

"Can you hear me?" It was like he was falling down a very long dark tunnel.

"I'm taking you to see Madam Pomfrey," Harry said, tightening his grip on Draco's waist. Draco sagged against him enjoying the heat radiated from Harry's body.

"No!" Draco had a feeling that that was an even worse idea than lying on the ground and giving in to the tunnel.

"Fuck, Draco! This has gone far enough," Harry said, pulling out his wand. Draco panicked. He attempted to twist away from his grip only to find himself on the floor.

"What's wrong with you? You spent the last two years fighting for survival, why throw it away now?"

"No, no! Just get Granger! She's training in Advanced Healing." Draco blurted out, desperate to keep his secret another day. His vision was narrowed until there was only black. Draco fell.

…

_December 20…night_

When he woke he found himself lying in the pristine white sheets of the Infirmary.

Harry was sitting in the chair next to his bed. His face was ashen and his eyes were closed; it did not appear as though he was sleeping fitfully. Granger walked in.

"You're awake!" she exclaimed, hugging him. Draco sat awkwardly waiting for it to end. "Thanks Granger."

"Were you ever planning on telling me?" Harry said, sitting up suddenly.

Draco's head snapped around, so that he was facing Harry. Harry knew.

"I'll just leave," Granger said, leaving the area.

"How did this happen?" Harry asked.

"The life debt, it manifested and then we were together and I don't really know…" Draco finished, lamely.

"Were you planning to keep it?" Harry asked.

"I—."

"Fuck, you weren't planning on telling me about my child, were you?"

"I was trying to tell you, but then I caught you copulating—"

"It was an innocent unwanted kiss! How many times do you want me to repeat that?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know," Harry said, rubbing his face. "I don't think I can do this right now."

Harry left. Dumbledore stood in the corner watching him.

"This is your fault! If you hadn't forced me to tell him," Draco yelled at him, realising how petty he was acting.

"Sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing to do."

…

_December 25…_

Draco went back home. His parents were there, they smiled when they saw him. Draco wanted to tell them so much, but he couldn't. It shouldn't have hurt so much, leaving. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were before. This 'thing' within him, it wasn't worth it.

The snow fell on his face…

…

_January 12…_

Draco saw Harry again, it was inevitable he supposed.

"Dr—Malfoy! I have a question about Defence," Harry said, running to catch up to him. Harry nodded to several onlookers before opening the door to an empty classroom and gesturing for Draco to enter.

Draco went in for no other reason than he didn't want to create a scene in the hall.

"I'm sorry. I was stupid. I spent the whole break trying to write a letter to you, but I couldn't find the right words. I even tried to Floo you once, but Blaise said you were unavailable," Harry babbled. Just being around Harry was nerve-wracking. Draco wanted nothing more than for Harry to wrap his arms around him.

"You know, you're no walk in the park either. You a boy! And you're everything I'm not. Weasley was right in saying that we shouldn't be together."

"No, Draco…" It was too late; Draco was already out of the door. 

_January 17…_

Draco went to the library to meet with Granger and work on their project. He had been making a point of avoiding Harry and through the careful use of timetables he was able to avoid seeing Harry more than he had to, which was why he was here a whole fifteen minutes earlier that Granger.

Granger slammed the main Defence book on the table when she arrived. Draco jumped back.

"Merlin! Granger, be careful where you slam that book. You could have crushed my fingers," Draco said.

"Harry!" She seethed out.

"Actually, I'm Draco Malfoy," he said.

"Both of you! I swear you will be the death of me. Harry's been so edgy lately that Professor McGonagall kicked him out of class and you! I don't even know where to start. "

So this was it. They couldn't be together, 

"What do you want from me?"

"I want you to stop being so stubborn! I'm only going to say this once. Everyone deserves redemption and happiness."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked her.

"Yes," she replied, smiling.

The smile seemed to open her face up. Draco could see how pretty she was when she smiled. Harry hadn't smiled of late… come to think of it, neither had he.

That night he dreamt. In a barren room built of stone and clay stood a hooded figure staring at something in the middle of the room. As Draco moved closer to the center the metallic scent of blood reached his nose. He was about a metre away from the unmoving figure when he spotted Harry lying in a pool of blood. Draco ran up, but figures kept moving to block his way. He could hear himself cry out in pain.

"Just let me through!" Draco gasped out. The figure lowered its hood to reveal the Dark Lord.

He always woke up at this part. For three nights this continued.

"I can't do it anymore! Why does the dream keep coming back?" He asked Dumbledore on the third night.

"It may have to do with the bond formed between you and Harry. It may be some manifestation of the fear you feel. I cannot tell you what the dreams mean."

Draco had feeling that it the dream was telling him to see Harry.

…

_January 21…_

Draco stood in front of the door; his hand rested on his belly as he knocked on the door. Harry answered his eyes very green and sleepy.

"Draco." It was more of a statement than anything else.

"I can't…do it anymore," Draco whispered, falling on his knees, three days of little food and no water had taken a price on his body.

"I thought it would go away, I thought…a lot of things," he said, his vision going white around the edges. Harry was half dragging half carrying him through the short hallway. Dumbledore waved at him from the corner, his twinkling eyes covered by the shattered spectacles.

"You made a good decision, my boy," Dumbledore said, from his spot in Draco's vision.

"Stop!" Draco whispered, wishing that Harry's touch was repulsive to him, wishing that Harry was all soft curves and pretty dresses. Harry was all planes and stupidity; but most of all he was everything Draco wished he could have been.

To Draco's shock, he did.

"Tell me the truth, Draco. For once in your life, look past your illusions and tell me that you don't want this; that you don't want me in some capacity."

The lie was stuck in his throat; he coughed trying to dislodge it. 

Harry soothingly ran his hands down Draco's back. Why was he so good at comforting?

They lay in bed later that night with Draco securely tucked under the sheet; he drew circles on Harry's chest with the tip of his finger.

"Are we going to be okay?" Harry didn't answer for a moment.

"Yes, I think we are."

Dumbledore smiled at him from the corner. 

"Goodbye, my boy, I believe my time here has ended." Draco nodded and waved as Dumbledore disappeared from view.

Forever. 

"Why are you waving?" Harry asked, sleepily.

"No reason," Draco replied.

"When?" Harry asked, rubbing Draco's belly gently.

"Sometime in May," Draco replied. 

"What do you want to name him or her?"

"We have a whole five months to think about that," Draco responded yawning.

They slept.

…

_Epilogue_

"He's lovely," Granger said. Draco stared at the wrinkly sticky baby she was holding out to him. Lovely was not the word he would have gone with.

"Well, take him," Pomfrey said, bustling about. Draco reached out and took the small bundle. Harry stood beside him; his parents and Blaise were outside waiting for news. It was perfect.

A wave of affection overcame Draco as he stared at his son's face.

"He is perfect," Harry breathed, dropping a kiss on Draco's forehead.

"James Severus Potter-Malfoy welcome to the world," Draco said smiling.

Response!

Part 1-Mari- Haha, Blaise is super touchy feely in this story. He slept with Draco, but they didn't have sex or anything.

If you have any questions/ need clarification don't hesitate to ask!

I would love to hear your thoughts!


End file.
